I was asked by a blog reader to write about long distance relationships following my recent posts on what I loved and hated about being a long distance relationship. She asked me some beyond wonderful questions that I cannot wait to dive into. Little gems like: How do you fall in love when you are apart? How do you keep the spark alive when you see them only through a computer? How long can being in a LDR really “last”? Can you really fall in love this way? What kind of tips would you give someone venturing into a new LDR?
Settle in kittens, we are about to dive into the big, bad world of Long Distance Relationships (or LDR).
Before we move on with any of these fantastic questions, I would like to clear the air about the idea of “long distance”. I have had friends and fellow bloggers discount their LDR because it wasn’t international or 5,000 miles apart. Here is my thought: if your other isn’t there to take care of you when you are sick, help you when your apartment floods, celebrate big holidays (plus everyday victories), or go grocery shopping or on a Target run, or if you can’t see them in less than 45 minutes then you are in long distance relationship. 50, 250, 500, 1000 or yes even 5,000 miles, it is all relative distance but still none the less, distance between you and your beloved. (Beloved. Isn’t that a nice word?)
With that, let’s tackle one question:
How do you make a Skype Date feel special?
Now, I have to admit that any question relating to Skype makes me smile a bit. You see, Neal and I got engaged via Skype. (Yes, it’s true! Read the whole story here.) So, yes… you can make a Skype date feel special and unique, but don’t be reliant on video chat. It isn’t a perfect method of communication and is reliant on technology for that crystal clear signal, which can’t be guaranteed every single day.
I will give you other ideas to keep the LDR spark alive in future posts, don’t fret!
Here are a few of my tips for making the most out of your Skype Dates:
- Clear Distractions: Modern human beings are super used to multitasking and having a million things going on at once. This can be really (really) annoying when you are video chatting. Silent the phone, close Facebook, turn off the TV. Treat the Skype session just as you would if you were going on a coffee date where you would normally give 100% of your attention. I’ll admit that when Neal and I video chatted, I didn’t stay true to this idea…and I wish I had. You will listen much more when there are not distractions pulling you away.
- Watch a TV Show or Play a Game: If you have to have a distraction, then share it. DVR the same show and watch it together. Yeah, with the video chat running the whole time. Neal and I used to do this on the weekends, and although it sounds odd, it felt like a “normal” thing to do: watching TV with your gent. We would also use Pogo.com to play online games like Monopoly or Battleship. Again, just a bit different but at least it is an activity that can be done together.
- Set Aside the Same Time Frame: Since Neal and I were 8 hours apart, we would typically video chat on the weekends, with a window from about 9 am to 1 pm. Unless one of us had a crazy weekend with out of the ordinary plans, we could count on video chatting in that window on Saturday and Sunday.
- Share a Meal: Since I was waking up and having my breakfast and Neal would be eating dinner, sometimes the timing worked to “share” a meal together. Sounds silly, but it was always a nice little everday moment that I enjoyed. If you and your other are in the same time zone, plan on a weekly meal together. It will feel like a “date” to some respect and give you a chance to catch up.
What about you? What recommendation would you give to make the most of a Skype date?
Can’t wait to hear from you!